The Guide to Health Informatics 3rd Edition

My learned and senior informatics colleagues spend much time debating the different professional roles that together are needed to support the practice of informatics (e.g. informatician, informatasist). Over the years I have assembled a set of definitions for these professional roles, as well as allied concepts. I feel this list is unlikely to help the debate at all.

Informatocyst [In-for-mata-s-ist, n] (see also, legacy system). A collection or build up of information, walled off from the greater information system by a barrier of incompatible or aged interchange standards.

Infocystation [In-foh-sis-tay-shun, n] An outbreak of informatocysts. Also, the state of co-existence with these informational endoparasites.

Informablution [In-for-mah-bloo-shun, v]. Ritual cleansing of past errors. Application of holy oils extracted by data analysts from sacred dashboard. Thought to bring enlightenment and understanding of the underlying nature of things. See also Informagic.

Informatocist [In-for-mata-s-ist, n] A practitioner specialising in the identification and removal of informatacysts, trained in the uses of tools such as the infolance (not to be confused with a ‘Standards body’ which is a secret cabal that believes the simple chanting of the names of the holy standards causes informatacysts to spontaneously rupture).

Informationist [In-for-may-shun-ist, n] One who believes that all information was created by God four thousand years ago (see also, Creationist, Infolutionist).

Informatics [In-for-mat-eeks, n] An ancient religion. Also, one divided by zero; Everything; Nothing (origins obscure).

Informagic [In-for-ma-gik, n] Informagical adv. The process by which purchase of a computer immediately improves clinical outcomes. (see also meaningless use, informagical thinking, informagician)

Infomortician [In-fo-mohr-tee-shun, n] A practitioner specialising in the preservation of dead information languages (see also mortician, Cobol, Fortran, MUMPS).

Informatrician [In-for-ma-tree-shun, n] Low caste technologist, responsible for designing, building and maintaing real information systems. Does all the work, gets no recognition or rewards. H-index of zero.

Informatelist [In-for-mat- er-lys-t, n] A collector of information system definitions.

Informately [In-for-mata-lee, n] The collection and study of information systems, standards, and related terms; stamp collecting (see also, terminology). Informatelic, informatelical adj. Informatelicaly adv

Informatology [In-for-ma-tolo-gee, n] Study of the information fundament (see also, proctology, semantics, ontology).

Interoperative [Een-ta-hop-era-teev, n]. Double agent. Works for health services but secretly acts for industry. Preaches tolerance and diversity but may fabricate evidence of infocystation to undermines local systems in favour of industry “standard” products.

Telemethodist [Te-lee-meth-o-deest, n] Member of breakaway missionary sect that eschews belief in information for its own sake, emphasises its delivery to the disadvantaged through speaking tubes.